"You Are What You Wear" Lyrics from American Psycho the Musical (Original London Production)

(Italics = Spoken)

EVELYN

This is a big birthday for Patrick, Courtney, so thank you for helping me co-host.

COURTNEY

Anything for you, Evelyn. You look to die for.

EVELYN

Thank you, Courtney.

I want blackened shark,

Mahi Mahi.

Works so well

With Isaac Mizrahi

COURTNEY

I'll have soda,

and creme de menthe.

Tastes so good

with Oscar de la Renta.

EVELYN

The ginger mango soy black bass

Complements the beige Bill Blass

I will not touch

a drop of red wine.

BOTH

Don't wanna ruin the Calvin Klein.

CHORUS

Chanel, Gaultier, or Giorgio Armani

Moschino, Alia or Norma Kamali

Should I rock

the Betsey Johnson

Or stick with classic

Comme des Garcon

No Parachute

Or Fiorucci

I'm with Prada

I'm with Gucci

When one goes shopping

It's best to take care

As some of us know

You are what you wear.

EVELYN

I will try on

These Maud Frizon

COURTNEY

I think I'll go

To Ferragamo

EVELYN
I don't know if

I'm such a fan

Of your purple suede Charles Jourdan.

BOTH
But let's be clear,

There's nothing ironic.

About our love of Manolo Blahnik.

No, there's nothing

Remotely ironic

About our love of

Manolo Blahnik

CHORUS

Chanel, Gaultier, or Giorgio Armani

Moschino, Alia or Norma Kamali

Should I rock

The Betsey Johnson

Or stick with classic

Comme des Garcon

In a certain kind of neighbourhood

You might get away with Vivian Westwood

But by von Furstenberg we swear

It's a wrap

You are what you wear.

EVELYN

Hello?

JEAN

Hi, Evelyn? I have Patrick for you.

EVELYN

Patrick, are you getting excited, Birthday boy? Now, listen, your brother and mother are already here - she won't take off her sunglasses, she refuses to say anything - I'm worried she hates me, Patrick.

PATRICK BATEMAN

 No, she doesn't, she's just heavily medicated. Listen, can we add Paul Owen to the mix?

EVELYN

What? Add who?

PATRICK

Paul. Owen. Read my lips: it's for work.

EVELYN

No, you are not screwing up my dinner party with your latest neurotic obsession.

PATRICK

He's coming, Evelyn! I invited him, it's my birthday dinner.

EVELYN

I will not have an odd number at my table, Patrick! This isn't Brooklyn!

PATRICK

Well, invite someone else. Can't Courtney bring Louis?

COURTNEY

Louis is flying back from Phoenix tonight.

EVELYN

Louis is unavailable.

PATRICK

Fuck sake, Evelyn, it doesn't matter. I'll bring Jean. Jean, are you still on the line?

JEAN

I am.

PATRICK

So, do you have plans tonight?

JEAN

No, nothing I couldn't change, but Patrick, look, I -

PATRICK

Perfect, then you'll come to Evelyn's.

JEAN

What do I wear?

PATRICK

What you have on is... acceptable.

JEAN

What am I supposed to do?

PATRICK

Simple recon, Jean. Find out how a douchebag like Paul Owen managed to score the Fischer account.

CHORUS

Chanel, Gaultier, or Giorgio Armani

Moschino, Alia, or Norma Kamali

Should I rock

The Betsey Johnson

Or stick with classic

Comme des Garcon

No Parachute

Or Fiorucci

I'm with Prada

I'm with Gucci

Missoni, Versace,

which one is best?

The guys just buzzed,

do I look underdressed?

"Cards" Lyrics from American Psycho the Musical (Original London Production)

LUIS CARRUTHERS

Magnificent

CRAIG MCDERMOTT

Impressive

DAVID VAN PATTEN

So thick

TIMOTHY PRICE

And yet so light

LUIS

The lettering

PAUL OWEN
Romalian

CRAIG

The stock?

PAUL

It's eggshell white.

Don't take chances in the game; it matters what you've drawn

The question's not what's in a name, but what it's printed on.

CHORUS

Oh baby baby,

You're such a card.

You make it look oh-so-easy

When I know it's fuckin' hard

Oh baby baby,

This can't be right

How I love your surfaces

How I love your tie

PAUL

The impression that you make

PATRICK BATEMAN

He thinks that I'm a fake.

PAUL

Is always in your hands.

PATRICK

Does he know who I am?

PAUL

Either Constantia

PATRICK

He says "nice to see ya"

PAUL

Or Comic Sans

PATRICK
But doesn't shake my hand

PAUL

In the corporate Colosseum

PATRICK

Everyone that he meets

PAUL
The crowd calls for a showman

PATRICK

They want to get to know him

PAUL

My font

PATRICK

He's cut from

PAUL
Imperial

PATRICK

Nice material

PAUL
Yours Times New Roman

PATRICK

I'm no Willy Loman

CHORUS

Oh baby baby

It's really not that hard

You'll find that when you get it right

A deal's made with a card.

Oh baby baby

You're such a card

You make it look oh-so-easy

When I know it's fuckin' hard

PATRICK

Oh baby baby,

I'll concede the game.

You played your hand well today

But soon you'll know my name.

"Opening (Morning Routine)" Lyrics from American Psycho the Musical (Original London Production)

PATRICK BATEMAN

Whenever I shower - sometimes twice, sometimes three times a day - I use a honey almond wash on my ripped body, and an exfoliating spearmint gel on my face.

I apply Clinique moisturiser and an anti-ageing eye balm before I shave, with a razor and cream by Pour Homme. No cologne on the face, ever, because the high alcohol content dries out your skin and makes you look older.

My suit today is an '80s drape from Allan Flusser, with a bladed back to accommodate my impressive physique. My tie is by Valentino Couture, with shoes by A. Testoni; underwear by Ralph Lauren.

The painting - a David Onica

The TV set - thirty inches. Digital. Toshiba.

High-contrast, highly-defined, plus it has picture-in-picture capabilities.

Plus, freeze frame.

My Walkman, with auto-reverse continuous play, is by Sony.

I am twenty-six years old, living in New York City at the end of the century, and this is what being Patrick Bateman means to me.

"And Eve Was Weak" Lyrics from Carrie the Musical (1988 Stratford Production)

MARGARET

And God made Eve from Adam's rib and Eve was weak

and Eve was weak

and Eve was weak

and God made Eve to bear the curse

the curse of blood

the curse of blood

The raven came to plague the world,

it's name was sin

CARRIE

It's not a sin

MARGARET

it's name was sin

CARRIE

Oh Momma it's not a sin

MARGARET

it's name was sin begin!

And lust was how the sin began

and sin was man

CARRIE

I don't understand

MARGARET

understand?!?

CARRIE

No!

MARGARET

The sin was man!

CARRIE

What have I done?

MARGARET

God has seen your sinning just beginning

Pray for your salvation

From damnation

Pray or he will burn you

he will burn you

The seed conveys the power and its come again

CARRIE

Momma what is this seed?

MARGARET

It's come again

It's come again

CARRIE (throughout second line)

Don't you care that I started to bleed

MARGARET

Until the seed is crushed the power never ends

CARRIE

Oh the girls were so cruel

MARGARET

it never ends

it never ends

CARRIE (throughout second line)

and they treated me like a fool

Momma I was so scared

and they all stared

I thought I was dying

I started crying, Momma!

                                          CARRIE                                      MARGARET

                                              Please                                                                            

                                               don't                                 You'll become Satan's 

                                                hurt                                               bride

                                               me                                Pray for mercy get down on your

                                             Please                                                knees

                                             don't                                        You've got Jezebel's

                                              hurt                                                    pride

                                                me                                 and your Soul is a hole of disease

MARGARET

I can see you inside

CARRIE

Don't believe with your eyes

MARGARET

I can see how you lied

CARRIE

But I never told lies

MARGARET

That's how Lucifer fell

CARRIE

Momma how could I know

MARGARET

And you're headed for hell

                                     CARRIE                                                MARGARET

                               Momma let me go!!                                  I won't let you go!!

                                 I'm not a sinner                                    Heaven hates a sinner!

                                 I'm not a sinner                                          hates a sinner!

                        Momma, stop. That's burning!                 Save your soul from burning

                                 Stop, it's burning                                      God, she's burning.

                                       Momma                                                     Pray or

MARGARET

He

CARRIE

No!

MARGARET

will

CARRIE

No! Please!

MARGARET

burn

CARRIE

Momma please let me go!

MARGARET

you.

He

CARRIE

No please

MARGARET

will

CARRIE

Momma NO!!

MARGARET

burn you.

And God made Eve from Adam's rib 

and Eve was weak

and Eve was weak

and I was weak

And God made Eve to bear the curse

the curse of blood

Our curse of blood

I'm so afraid

Oh Lord, I've seen this power before

the flesh is weak and I implore

Father don't forsake her

Father take her

cleanse and purify her with the fire

and the power

and the glory

forever and ever and ever

Amen

"Open Your Heart" Lyrics from Carrie the Musical (1988 Stratford Production)

MARGARET

Open your heart

Let Jesus in

Open your heart

Let Jesus in

Lord, you have found me

a wanderin' in the darkness

light my way with your true faith

and I'll sing with joy of my new faith

Jesus possess me

sweet saviour be my shepherd

Bless each endeavour

till I finally join you forever

CARRIE

Hello Momma

MARGARET

Carrie come sing with me!

CARRIE

Open your heart

MARGARET

Let Jesus in

CARRIE

Open your heart

MARGARET AND CARRIE

Let Jesus in

Lord I will see choirs of saints and angels singing

Finally free from temptation and the flame of Hell's devastation

Then he will take me and wash me in the river

I will make celebration

MARGARET

In the joy of final

CARRIE

The light of final

BOTH

the fire of final salvation

CARRIE

I love you Momma

MARGARET

I love you Carrie

"Carrie" Lyrics from Carrie the Musical (1988 Stratford Production)

CHRIS
You know what Shelly calls her?
Shelly calls her Scary White

SUE
Chris, please.

CHRIS
I just call her stupid bitch.

SUE
That's enough Chris!

CHRIS
Scary White, do you love it?!
Scary White

STUDENTS
Scary White Scary White (repeated several times)

CARRIE
That's not my name

Doesn't anybody ever get it right? Carrie!
Why don't they remember I am Carrie White? Carrie!
Is that any harder to say than god damn toad and crazy and weirdo and dumb bitch

and doesn't anybody think that I can hear? I hear!
'specially when I got them screaming in my ear! I hear!
When did ev'ry body decide I'm the one who's the flop?
If I had a wish God, I wish they'd stop!
I wish they'd stop.
How I wish they'd stop.

I will not cry
I'm okay
I try so hard to play their way
Why do they find it so hard to say?
Carrie.

Why do they always treat me so bad?
They all know my name. It's Carrie.
I don't know why they all get so mad.
It's always the same.

What's going on, deep in me?
There's someone new where I used to be.
One of these days they're gonna see Carrie.

Sometimes their hatred is out of control
God how they hurt me
Momma says suff'ring is good for the soul
But they hurt me
they hurt me

And if I could I'd bring them all down to their knees
I'd make them sorry forever for teasing Carrie
Carrie, Carrie

I wish I was blessed with someone
who's not like the rest.
I'd close my eyes and suddenly he'd be there
Handsome and wise and prob'ly a prince who could dance on air

And he'd ask me out ev'ry night
I'd say "All right"
After a while he'd ask me to wear his ring
Momma would smile and give us her blessing for ev'rything

And the world would see this is love
And then ev'ryone would be jealous of Carrie
Then all those people who scream night and day
"Poor praying Carrie"
They'd see me with him and they might even say...
"Look it's Carrie!" It's Carrie

And finally I'd hear that word sounding so sweet
thousands of voices forever repeating
Carrie, Carrie, Carrie

I am the sound of distant thunder
the colour of flame
I'm Carrie
I am the song of endless wonder that no one will claim
but some day
Oh my, some day, someone will know my name

"Somebody Should Have Told Her" Lyrics from Carrie the Musical (1988 Stratford Production)

MISS GARDNER

I can't believe she never learned

She's so naive and so afraid

CHRIS

Do you believe her, bleeding like that?

Ha! What a joke.

SUE

Her mother should have told her

CHRIS

And that holy-rolling mother of hers

MISS GARDNER

Somebody should have told her

CHRIS

Always ranting about how everyone is going straight to hell

Except for her and her precious little Carrie.

SUE

My god what have we done here?

I'd never try to hurt her

CHRIS

Remember that time she got down on her knees

praying in the cafeteria.

On her goddamn knees!

MISS GARDNER

The girls went wild

I was shocked the way their faces burned

Chris I'd expect but never Sue

CHRIS

Goddamn praying Carrie

SUE 

She cried like she was broken

CHRIS

And that light bulb breaking

It was a scream

SUE / GARDNER

Somebody should have told her

CHRIS

Squealing like a stuffed pig. Haha

SUE

Chris!

CHRIS

Well, she was.

She was!

SUE

You're my best friend and sometimes I don't understand you

CHRIS

What's to understand?

She's a pig!

SUE

Come on, think of Carrie.

CHRIS

Oh my heart bleeds for her

SUE

Why do you always pick on her?

CHRIS

Because she's there.

I don't know!

SUE

Well maybe she needs help.

CHRIS

Ha, you can say that again.

SUE

Listen Chris,

you've got Billy

I've got Tommy

Carrie has no one

SUE

Sure she does, she's got her mother