"Cards" Lyrics from American Psycho the Musical (Original London Production)

LUIS CARRUTHERS

Magnificent

CRAIG MCDERMOTT

Impressive

DAVID VAN PATTEN

So thick

TIMOTHY PRICE

And yet so light

LUIS

The lettering

PAUL OWEN
Romalian

CRAIG

The stock?

PAUL

It's eggshell white.

Don't take chances in the game; it matters what you've drawn

The question's not what's in a name, but what it's printed on.

CHORUS

Oh baby baby,

You're such a card.

You make it look oh-so-easy

When I know it's fuckin' hard

Oh baby baby,

This can't be right

How I love your surfaces

How I love your tie

PAUL

The impression that you make

PATRICK BATEMAN

He thinks that I'm a fake.

PAUL

Is always in your hands.

PATRICK

Does he know who I am?

PAUL

Either Constantia

PATRICK

He says "nice to see ya"

PAUL

Or Comic Sans

PATRICK
But doesn't shake my hand

PAUL

In the corporate Colosseum

PATRICK

Everyone that he meets

PAUL
The crowd calls for a showman

PATRICK

They want to get to know him

PAUL

My font

PATRICK

He's cut from

PAUL
Imperial

PATRICK

Nice material

PAUL
Yours Times New Roman

PATRICK

I'm no Willy Loman

CHORUS

Oh baby baby

It's really not that hard

You'll find that when you get it right

A deal's made with a card.

Oh baby baby

You're such a card

You make it look oh-so-easy

When I know it's fuckin' hard

PATRICK

Oh baby baby,

I'll concede the game.

You played your hand well today

But soon you'll know my name.